Just Because / Jennifer Harrington (Friend)Read >>
Just Because / Jennifer Harrington (Friend)
My dearest Preston-Funny how Melissa, your mommy and I think on the same wave lengths; I got on to write your mommy a note, and viola Melissa has written it so beautifully I turely don't know what to add; she took the words right from my heart. The friendship I share with your mommy is so special, she says you brought us all together all those year ago, and what a speical gift that is. I will treasure this friendship the 3 of us have forever.
Sweet boy, as your birthday approaches, and your angel day, I can't help but cry for you, missing you and just hearing the pain and heartache in your mommies words; please hold her close angel, she needs you so much; I know you are looking out for her, and daddy, Dakota, and Alivia too, they feel it, they do angel. We will never EVER forget you; you live in all of us everyday, there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you, say your name; look at your picture, ache for your family.
I am going to be going away for the next few days, returning home on your 14 month angel day; if I do not get to my computer on Sunday; oh that just pained me to write...your angel day is Sunday this month.....as I was saying, if I do not get onto my computer on Sunday...know that you are in my heart and mind.
Amanda, I've thought about you, Preston and the rest of your family alot this year. I usually cry when I think of everything that you must be going through, and have gone through this past year. I'm sorry that I haven't reached out to you continually throughout the year, there's really no excuse.
Baby Preston: Happy early birthday...we will be away on holidays when your birthday comes, and just know we're thinking of you, your mommy and daddy, Dakota and Alivia.
To one of my dearest friends... / Melissa Weinberger Read >>
To one of my dearest friends... / Melissa Weinberger
As Preston’s birthday quickly approaches and with the happenings of the past couple of days I wanted to write a special tribute to one of my very best friends, Amanda.
As you have said so many times, Preston brought us together and because of him, I have you in my life. Preston has created a bond between us that can never be broken, and I thank him every day for that. He is truly an angel to be cherished. I don’t think our friendship would be any different had you not suffered this unimaginable loss, but I do hope having my friendship made some of your minutes just a tad bit easier. And as a true friend does you have always been there for me even through your "bad" and "badder" days. No matter how far in miles we are, that doesn’t seem to put any distance between us. I truly can't put into words what your friendship means to me - Melissa
I was looking at your beautiful little sisters web page tonight in awe reading all the new stories about her and her family adventures. Im smiling and Im so happy that you are around to make your mommy laugh. It made me sad as well reading the entrys your mommy wrote bc I dont really have a clue anymore as to what goes on from day to day like I used too. Its bittersweet I suppose. Im here though for your mommy and I miss her terribly. Its late and tomorrow isnt friday yet, so I need to get some sleep. G'night sweet boy. Big Wet Ones boo boo.
One Year ~ The last year what it has been like as a mother w/o her son~ / Mommy Read >>
One Year ~ The last year what it has been like as a mother w/o her son~ / Mommy
I have avoided writing this entry on how the last year has been without my son. Everyday has been an uphill battle and I haven't won one yet. I tell my friends and family that it is a lot harder to grieve the "right" way then it is to just crawl under the covers forever. There hasn't been a minute in these 387 days that I have not thought of my baby boy wondered what he would be like now as an almost 3 year old. What he would be doing with his little sister that he only was able to spend 8 short weeks with. I can't even imagine what he would look like at this age forever in my memory he is 21 months old. Everyday I feel cheated out of what should have been I know that feeling will never go away no matter how many times I am told it gets a little easier. In this last year I have changed more than I have ever changed in my whole life. I am not nor will I ever be the same person I was before Preston passed away. That is a hard thing for people to accept and understand something they will get used to as I am having to get used to having one of my children playing in Heaven.
In this last year without my sweet Preston I have been told many things. I have come to understand that as a society we do not know how to talk or even think about death. I have seen how people change how people avoid me so as not to upset me or have to deal with my pain. I make a point to tell my son's story yes it is sad, unfair, shocking but this is my life now. I have learned we are promised nothing and to truly enjoy every moment we are given the good and the bad the scary and the sad. I have also seen how people avoid saying his name which is so hurtful to us. I love his name and what to scream it from the roof tops it hurts more to ignore or pretend he wasn't here he was here he is here. I have been told many times to put everything in the hands of God. To be honest I am angry with God and I know that I can be. To tell this to a mother and father who have had their child ripped from their lives and given no reason is insane. God allows us to be angry he understands the loss of a child. I have worked through my anger with Him mostly and have come to an Ahh moment (as Oprah would say) God gave me 21 wonderful months with my son and 38 long beautiful weeks of pregnancy were I had him all to myself our special bond no one else shared. Memories that no one take for the live in my heart forever. He never promised what I assumed would be forever. I can look back and see now all the signs I was given that Preston was special and have found comfort in knowing God gave me those signs to help ease the hurt that will forever be in my heart for my son who is always with me and waiting for me when it is my time to join him. The night before Preston became an Angel so many things happened I was able to look into my son's beautiful brown eyes and see his soul I was both scared and surrounded in comfort you see a mother knows. I may not have known the full extent of what the next day would bring but I felt something. I believe he was telling me he loved me more then the Earth could hold I believe he knew and he was trying to comfort us. I have learned and been told he didn't go alone that we never go alone I believe with all my heart that Angels comforted our oldest child and let Preston say goodbye from what our oldest son has told us.
So while this has been one of the worst years of my life it has also been an amazing year filled with love for my 3 beautiful children and my husband. Preston passing drove us apart and yet brought us closer together. You see we are still a family of 5 just one of our children is in our hearts and watching from above. Preston is apart of our family forever never to be left out of anything for his work is not done here. He works through me and continues to touch so many people. I am still not sure what the Plan is that God has for us but I am willing to wait and see.
I miss my son more than words could ever say but I also know he is not gone his soul and spirit live on in every person that sees his face, hears his name, looks at his big brother and little sister and sees the love and pain in his daddy and mommys eyes. We love our baby boy, Moose, little man, Preston Jr, little/big brother forever and ever he will never be forgotten.
Big sloppy wet kisses baby boy mommy loves you so much.
~Amanda 6/14/2006 Forever a proud Mommy to 3 Dakota almost 7, Preston forever 21 months ^i^, Alivia 14 1/2 months
My favorite memory / Jami Williams (Friend) I'm sorry I couldn't come to the ballon launch; I was there in spirit though. I've been thinking about Preston all month...especially today at work. The babies were so sweet and loving today. It's like they knew I wasn't feeling the best. They gave me lots of hugs and kisses and I thought... these kisses are probably from Preston--he's way of letting me know that he's happy and okay. So, all in all I feel better than I thought I would today...thanks to Preston.
My favorite memory of Preston was actually before he was even born! I remember how big Amanda's belly was...lol. She would come strolling in the daycare, always smiling, half bent over because her belly was so HUGE! We thought she was going to pop instead of having a baby!
But my most favorite memory of Preston has got to be...picture this...I walk in the infant room and there he is sitting in the bouncy, cookie all over his face, smilin so big, and that big ole' baby had the bouncy bent almost to the ground! I love that memory! Me and Holly laughed so hard. He was so cute sitting there about to dump out of the bouncy seat with cookie all over just smiling like..."What?!" We always did love him so much! He'd just melt your heart with one look or smile. I miss him alot and think of him often.Close
A YEAR HAS PASSED QUICKLY YET TIME HAS STOOD STILL / NANA LINDA And PAPA JACK (PATERNAL GRANDPARENTS )Read >>
A YEAR HAS PASSED QUICKLY YET TIME HAS STOOD STILL / NANA LINDA And PAPA JACK (PATERNAL GRANDPARENTS )
MY DEAR FAMILY--BRANDON, AMANDA, DAKOTA, ALIVIA AND ANGEL PRESTON-- It still doesn't seem that this past year has been a reality for me. I wish that I could some how turn back time to 5-22-05 and everything could be so different for those I love so dearly. But, I am just a mom that wants her son and his family not to be hurt or have to deal with this heartache. I wish I could just "kiss it all away" but it is not in my power--and I try so hard not to question the reason but understand. I am only human and that is all I can do. But son, always remember I will be here for you and yours--you all have been so strong, but, I know there has to be countless hours of sorrow that no one can ever know. REMEMBER ABOVE ALL THAT YOU ARE LOVED, PRESTON IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED, AND HIS MEMORY WILL LIVE ON THROUGH YOU, HIS FAMILY. With Love Eternally yours, "NANA" LINDA DRUMMOND Close
First Angel Day / Melissa Weinberger ((friend of Amanda) )Read >>
First Angel Day / Melissa Weinberger ((friend of Amanda) )
Oh Preston, I cannot believe it has been a year since I got that fateful call from mommy and sat shocked on my bed. It still doesnt seem real and words cant even begin to explain how I feel. All I can see is your big brown sparkling eyes and big huge smile. I know you would as mischevious as Steven, I could always see that glimmer in your eyes. You are so special to me and always will be, you will never be forgotten and it has become a mission in my family to make sure your name and spirit is never forgotten and that we continue to provide funds for SUDC. Tonight we lit a candle for David's father Steven and asked him to take care of you up there. Your spirit is so strong that Alivia even felt it today, keep your spirit strong and keep helping mommy, daddy, Dakota, and Alivia to always remember the good times with you and feel you around them. Oh Moose, I cant send enough hugs and kisses to let you know how much you are missed and love XOXOXOXOXOXO
Amanda and Brandon, I cant even start to image the pain and loss you are feeling, as I know that my pain cant even come close. I want you to know that I am always here for you and will always continue to be here for you for years to come. I will share every angel day with you, not only this one.
Sharing from the words of my rabbi " May the memory of Preston be a blessing for you and your family."
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